While Stevie takes her big certification exam she has been kind enough to let me post for all of you today, and I couldn’t be more excited! Now that I have a wife and I am a wife, I am continuing to divulge all of the glorious details from our wedding, which so exceeded our expectations, we still can’t believe it was real. Something special I’ve gained from blogging is learning how remarkably easy it is to relate to each other. I’m in a same-sex relationship and I live in New York City, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t relate to every other girl out there who is maybe in her twenties, married or single, trying to answer this question: Just where did I think I would be as I approach thirty? I learned so much while planning my wedding, and with a whole slew of friends planning 2014 nuptials I am trying to give only solicited advice. It’s not always easy, but I never want to be the girl who asks a friend about her wedding planning only to interrupt two seconds into her squealing to talk about my own. So I’m trying. I don’t know if I’m succeeding. I just have so much advice to give on dress shopping, music, and what I learned about writing vows. But I enjoyed learning all of this as I went, and I’m thrilled to watch as some of my closest friends embark on the same exciting journey. Since I have no self-control, here are my top five little tiny pearls of wedding planning wisdom:
- Create a new e-mail address for your wedding. You’ll be SO glad you did this. I thought I was being cute and clever when I came up with 2brides2be, which began as an e-mail address before I had the idea for a blog. Keeping our wedding e-mails out of our individual inboxes kept us organized without getting us overwhelmed.
- Don’t hire a single vendor that you don’t connect with. I know the word “connect” can be so ridiculous. I’m not one to sit down for coffee with plans to become besties with my potential photographer, but I’m glad that my wife and I went with our instincts on who to work with. Planning our wedding was a blast, in part because we genuinely enjoyed everyone who helped make it happen.
- Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Ya know when you read a wedding blog and the bride gushes about her sister-in-law who baked the wedding cake and six pies for the dessert table, or the great-aunt who sewed burlap table runners and you’re thinking, Seriously? I have no one in my life that can build a chuppah or bake dessert for 175 people, but they did help in other ways. Sam and I did not have a traditional wedding party, so we found various elements with which to include our loved ones. We had friends helping us make beds in the cabins where many of our guests were staying, and we employed my mom to help us make gift bags. We actually didn’t ask for enough outside help, and I wish we had. Everyone wants to be involved and is willing to lend a hand. (And anyone who doesn’t want to help will probably let you know!)
- Hire a professional to conduct your ceremony. This is a controversial opinion, but I know how popular it is for couples right now to ask a friend to officiate their wedding. I think that’s an excellent idea if you have a friend or relative who has previously performed a ceremony, and even better if you love your Priest or Rabbi, if your mom’s best friend is a minister, or if you find yourself in some other similar situation. This is your wedding day, and it’s okay to gather your guests to witness a beautiful, well-planned ceremony. I am so excited to blog about the Celebrant who performed my wedding ceremony. She is a seasoned pro who knew how to handle such an important occasion. Take the ceremony seriously and allow it to be special.
- Sit down and discuss the wedding of your dreams with your fiancé(e). You cannot a plan a wedding trying to make everyone else happy. If you attempt to do that, you will just end up making yourselves unhappy. Sam and I didn’t wan to spend our entire wedding day having our hair & make-up done, so we had a big brunch followed by Kegs & Kickball. We got to enjoy the entire day with our family and friends. Plan the wedding you really want and your loved ones will be honored to celebrate with you, even if they think kickball on your wedding is nuts.
|Sam on the left, me on the right|
- Don’t complain to the bride. If you have a concern or a complaint, find someone else—anyone else—to share it with.
- Bring a card. If you’re not giving a gift for any reason, at least write a nice card. We had friends who went out of their way to find cards on Etsy that were meant for two brides, and those are special keepsakes. I won’t forget that they did that, and I’ve promised myself that I will start giving more personal and unique cards in the future.
Those are my few cents. So what else is worth knowing about me? I love pickles and Frank’s hot sauce. I am a great skier but despite being 5’11” I am horrendous at every sport. I will always stop to give you directions on the street. I’m a proponent of comfortable shoes. I have two teacup Pomeranians. I overuse exclamation points! My record player and vinyl collection are two of my most prized possessions. I make the most delicious and deceptively strong mulled wine, and the only dream I ever had for my wedding was to wear a green gown. It’s great to meet you all! Have any questions for me? I love answering questions, even the ones you fear might be dumb. I’m always asking dumb questions, how do you think I got myself a guest-spot on Colorful Commotion?
Please stop by 2brides2be any time to see more photos (can't wait to get them all back from our incredible photographer, Heather Waraksa) as I reveal more details from my big wild wedding weekend, and don’t forget to leave some comments. Thanks for reading! From one newlywed to another – Congrats Stevie & Terry!